


I'm Okay Now

by rianagabrielledn



Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Fluff, comforting bojack, sarah lynn's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:42:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25855318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rianagabrielledn/pseuds/rianagabrielledn
Summary: BoJack Horseman having a breakdown? Why, that's no mystery. But when an old friend comforts him, the two discover something between them that can work. Something that can finally make BoJack happy.
Relationships: BoJack Horseman/Reader
Kudos: 32





	I'm Okay Now

**Author's Note:**

> BoJack is a little ooc in this one. Sorry about that! Also, for the readers who haven't yet reached Season 3, spoiler alert!

(Y/N) snuggles up next to BoJack. The feeling was friendly, and not romantic. Even if (Y/N) saw BoJack in a 'more-than-a-friend' way, she came to the realization that BoJack was not going to like her back. He was a hit and run type of guy: call up a girl, hook up, then go to (Y/N)'s house and hang out. (Y/N) wasn't always pleased with his attitude and his choices in life, but that was just a normal thing now. (Y/N) found it hard to stay disappointed and mad at BoJack.

She takes in a deep breath, before exhaling it slowly. The bed shifts a little, and (Y/N) thinks that BoJack is going to the bathroom to piss, but the sound of the window opening catches her off-guard, and she finally sits up and opens her eyes. The bed sinks as she sits up, but realigns when she gets out of the bed. The bathroom door was open, and BoJack always pissed with the door half-way closed, so that meant BoJack was not inside the bathroom. (Y/N) scans her surroundings and notices the curtains flying along with the harsh, freezing wind of an early -ber month. She walks to the window and holds its hinges, deciding to close it, until the faint smell of cigarette smoke and the unfamiliar noise of whimpering and crying hits her. She makes it to the rooftop and outside of her room in a matter of seconds. Her hands make a bang noise as she falls forward, before she crawls over to where the cigarette smoke and crying emits from.

There sits her best friend since the 90's: BoJack F. Horseman. He shivers due to the cold and his lack of clothes on, before hiccuping softly. The way his tears glistened under the moonlight was no more than obvious to (Y/N), as she sits down beside BoJack. The horse panics slightly, as he rushes to wipe his tears away without drawing too much attention to his sudden actions. (Y/N) had remembered what BoJack told her during the fall of '09: "I don't cry in front of people,"

There is a short silence between him and (Y/N), before (Y/N) decides to speak up.

"Are you crying?"

Those three words shook BoJack to the core. What was he to say? Admit that he had a weak spot just like everyone else, or maintain his dominant, strong demeanor? Of course BoJack chose to lie, even if (Y/N) was able to see, very well and clear, the marks of dry tears running across BoJack's cheeks. BoJack inhales his cigarette smoke before exhaling deeply; "I'm not crying, (Y/N). What could possibly make me cry?"

(Y/N) raises a brow at BoJack's denial. The way his voice quivered as he said that sentence was enough proof for (Y/N) to believe that Horseman was crying. (Y/N) stares at the sky as she frowns. Her eyes grow watery but she is able to stop the tears from coming out. BoJack was hurting, and his personality was stopping him from admitting that he had a weakness. (Y/N) reaches for BoJack's hand that was holding onto the tiling of the roof, and intertwines her fingers with his. Their palms touched as love and care sparked in the tension between them; it's all platonic, (Y/N) convinced herself, you're doing this because you're a good friend, and not because you're still in love with him after all these years. . .

"What's wrong?" (Y/N) asks BoJack with a caring voice. Nothing mattered to her at that moment, I tell you, NOTHING, but the well being of her best friend was beyond her reach: she cared too much, and it was breaking her heart. However, she still had to keep in mind that she was doing most of these things for BoJack because she cared, and not because she was a hopeless romantic waiting for the moment that BoJack reciprocates her feelings and the two dwell in a/n (hopefully) everlasting love. But, who was she kidding with her expectations? They were all like fairytales; myths, legends, things people wish for but never get. It was too impossible.

BoJack remains silent for a bit before saying, in a small voice: "There was this girl on set. Her name was Sarah Lynn. I think I destroyed her. I'm just dying because guilt eats me alive every chance it gets. 'Hey, BoJack, you ruined her. You should've encouraged her to really be clean and stay clean. Why didn't you do that?'"

"Well, why didn't you do that?"

"Because I was also high off of my ass. I guess I was too in-my-own-world to realize that Sarah Lynn was so close to an OD."

(Y/N) stays silent for a moment, before taking a deep breath. She knew Sarah Lynn, of course she did, because she would watch Horsin' Around for the thrill of it and she knew who Sarah Lynn was. Her death left many in confusion: Horseman was there. Horseman said she called and he found her passed out in the planetarium. Horseman was lying. Horseman ruined her. . . (Y/N) shook the bad thoughts away before nodding at what BoJack said. "Did you ever consider rehab? It could help you."

"I don't want rehab. It's lonely. All I want is for Sarah Lynn to be alive. All I want is for time to go back, and for me to have stopped her."

"What's done is done." (Y/N) says to BoJack sternly. She wasn't mad, she was just concerned about BoJack. Sarah Lynn had died three years ago and almost every day since then, BoJack would have one of his silent breakdowns. But then, who could blame him? It wasn't BoJack's fault he was so sad and depressed.

"Yeah, I know that." BoJack says back, also in a stern voice. He was the kind to dwell on his past a lot. Moving on was his last option when it came to things he felt guilty about. (Y/N) sighs as she shivers under the cold, clutching onto her shirt with her free hand. BoJack notices this and slings his arm around her, to which (Y/N) responds by blushing darkly and snuggling up to BoJack. The horseman laughs at his best friend's flustered face and holds her close to him. He wasn't even thinking of Sarah Lynn anymore, thanks to (Y/N) being there for him.

"Why do you do that?" BoJack asks out of the blue.

"Do what?" 

"Blush. Your cheeks are really red."

(Y/N) digs her face into BoJack's chest and BoJack chuckles once again; the horse-man was a tease. He knew about her crush and everything, but still wanted to personally ask (Y/N) about it. Finally, after some time, the girl responds, her words muffled by BoJack's clothes: "It's because of the cold."

"Yeah, I don't think so."

(Y/N) peeks her eyes out from BoJack's chest and stares at him intensely. Her (e/c)-colored orbs lock with his dark-brown ones, and she finally speaks up. "What are you implying by that?" 

"So if I leaned in like this -" BoJack pulls (Y/N) from his chest gently and pulls her face closer to his, making (Y/N) stare at him with wide-eyes and her blush darken gravely. Their lips are inches apart -"then you're blush wouldn't get any more darker?" BoJack asks (Y/N) with a low voice as he smirks at the girl's blushing face. (Y/N) tries to look away, but she - for some, unrelated-to-her-crush reason (obviously) - can't look away. She stares at BoJack's dark brown pupils, the same pupils she's stared at since the 90's, like they're the most interesting thing in the world. (Y/N) stays silent as BoJack leans in even more, and, soon, the gap between them is closed, and their lips touch.

(Y/N) is the first to pull away. Her eyes are the size of saucers as she eyes BoJack, and for some time, the horse-man fears that (Y/N) does not feel what he feels (which is love. He's been sick in love with (Y/N) for the past 25 years), but (Y/N)'s laugh reassures him that he does love him back. Finally, a love worth living for. A love that has finally happened. The only thing that BoJack has wanted in life has finally come true, and BoJack is grinning like an idiot because of him.

The two laugh in a heartfelt unison, before (Y/N) stares into BoJack's eyes yet again and smiles sweetly. "Are you feeling alright, now?" She asks BoJack with a glimmer of hope in her eyes and a tone in her voice that is full of love and happiness. For once, BoJack is able to feel a type of happiness that he has never felt before. Finally, after getting what he wanted, he's actually smiling, happily, hopefully, and is not instead wallowing in his sadness. It was the same small smile BoJack had whenever he achieved something that was little to no benefit to him - the type of smile where he arches his eyebrows a little to make him look worried, and he doesn't smile so big that his teeth show - but (Y/N) saw through it. BoJack hugs (Y/N) close to him and runs a hand through her hair. There was going to be a lot between them. Almost like a new adventure, BoJack and (Y/N) were excited to see where this relationship would take them. BoJack closes his eyes and drops his cigarette, allowing it to slide down the roof before hitting the ground.

"I'm okay now." is all the horse-man says, as he continues to run his hand through his new lover's hair and admires the warmth and happiness of the moment. . .


End file.
